Neverending Queries: Uuuupdate

Life's been pretty great! I've got loads of pictures. Spent Lin's 19th at supperclub last night. Just gonna post pictures, will elaborate l8r with some more pictures! Gotta go get ready. Gonna try and do some good photography at chinatown =)
I'm too lazy to resize them individually, so i just took these from facebook!

I'm back home! Chinatown was fun. We decided to try out this steamboat place, was pretty reasonable per person though somehow, i couldn't quite bring myself to trust the food. Did a little hunting in helping my brother's girlfriend look for dance props. The evening skies were gloomy, grey clouds practically overshadowing the entire place. It kept raining i wished my camera was waterproof! I had to take snapshots from the shelters which wasn't fun at all. It was so hard to do so cause people kept streaming by, nudging their way through making me lose focus of my shots! =( I shot once or twice and gave up. I'm such an amateur i really have to read my handbook. anyway, yesterday was fun! Right after work i flew home to get ready while my mom waited for me patiently in the car. Took a train down to town to meet Sean and Han, took another train to supperclub. I'm such a whiner but i seriously hate public transport. I need to learn how to drive pronto! I'll pay for petrol. December, come quicker! Stayed till 3 then left. It was so crowded we could hardly move without mashing ourselves against wet bodies and inhaling rancid odor haha. Cake was good, Lin looked gorgeous. Was so glad she got to recuperate a little before reviving to party! Got home feeling so exhausted i drifted off to sleep as soon as i laid my head down. Uni applications have been coming along superb! I got accepted into 3 out of 4 universities so far, 1 even with advance standing! Only 2 years of uni is seriously HEAVEN. I'll be visiting those 4 when i fly up with my mom next month. I have to really thank my parents for being so supportive of my education. They left everything up to me, allowing me to serve my priorities, understanding my wants and especially giving me the thumbs up in everything i did. Thanks mommy and daddy. I truly appreciate it <3

Although this year has been a rough year for me, i'm glad the tables turned and made it a memorable one. I have to say i'm proud of myself, accomplishing what i've accomplised has never felt so real to me. I can actually see it this time. I never thought i'd make it this far, i thought i was doomed once i knew i was in NT. Thank you to whoever made this happen.

Relationship wise, i'm losing it by the minute. I think i'm crazy. Saying things that Sean claims he's never said makes me feel indiscreet. Sometimes i question my sanity. Week after week i'm slipping inches away. I don't know what to do, my mental and emotional being's frozen, i can't think. When i sugeest we go our seperate ways, something holds me back telling me i should stay. But when i do, everything crumbles slowly and in no matter of time, we're back at the crossroads refacing the inevitable. Sigh i'm so cornered, so stuck i wish there was someone who could make decisions like that for me. I love you, i do but i can't have this feeling of uncertainy, heartache everyday, all day. I'm pretty sure i'm not a horrible girlfriend. I work my schedule around for him, I cancel my plans to meet him. When i'm out getting something to eat, i'll wonder if he's hungry. I surprise him by turning up at his house on mornings to make things right. What am i doing wrong? I feel like i'm giving myself the attention that he's suppose to give me. Thats idiotic jeez. At times, i wanna bawl my eyes out but what's there for me after all that mourning? I lay awake feeling like my heart's been clawed then ripped into shreds. That's why i hardly ever cry anymore, i tell myself life's a matter of letting go, holding the hurt in just makes you a hateful person and i have no intention of modelling into one. I try to be strong, i try to be my best. My wall is dissolving into a panel of numbness. I feel so sadistic now haha.
No more pessimism! I'm feeling much better about the whole thing now. I swear i cause such distress to people who read my blog.
I was suppose to publish this post last night but since the photos are taking forever and i'm lazy, i finally uploaded them onto fb.
Very very long entry huh.
How unusual Denise!
photoblogggg.

SEAN IF YOU LOVE ME TEACH ME HOW TO DRIVE. I H888 PUBLIC TRANSPORT.